An Epistle to the Gentiles

1. I, Sister McFarlane, a missionary of the Lord Jesus Christ, write unto you my dear friends that the grace of God be upon you for the unrighteous deeds that thou hast done.


2. For behold it has been many months since the good Lord hast called me away on his errand. For many months have I labored crying repentance unto the inhabitants of Provo, Utah.


3. And it came to pass that as I have been diligently working amongst my people, I became wearied from not hearing from my brethren and friends.


4. Many epistles have I written unto thee my brethren. Awaiting your response. I plead unto the Lord at night that thou hast not forgotten me, thy sister. And as I have prayed the spirit of the Lord came unto me saying:


5. Peace be unto thy soul, a few of thy friends do love thee and stand by thee. And thy mother and thy father. But this I say unto you by way of commandment, go unto thy friends and cry repentance unto those that doth forget thee.


6.Thus being filled with the spirit, keeping the commandments of the Lord, I doth now write unto you, my beloved friends, To call you to repentance, and exhort you to turn yourselves from this evil deed and say unto you write your friend who has gone away.


7. For behold, if ye do not this thing which I have commanded you. I will return home and remember thee no more. And it supposeth me that I speak of these things in vain, but I say unto you that ye are the support of thy missionary friend.


8. Many have said a Letter! A letter! We've already sent a letter! Know ye not that two letters are better than one? That there are more weeks in a mission than one?


9.Behold, I know not more than thou art unsuccessful and hast drawn away thy support. I do not desire to murmur but behold it grieveth my soul.


10. Behold doth a nursing mother forget her sucking child? Nay neither have I forgotten thee, i have ye taped to the bedroom wall.


11. And now my beloved friends, may the Lord our God who has redeemed us and made us free, keep you continually in his presence, yea and may he favor thee, that ye may be blessed.


12. O remember, remember what the Lord hast spoken, I am His servant and plead with him for your cause. I do away your epistle. Adieu.